Breaking crumbling falling landing building climbing normal
Graduation dinner told me: congratulations, you now have the most useless degree you could have hoped for. Good for you. You spent four years realising that education does not equal direction. You have essentially accomplished nothing as of yet, but have faith! You still have many years of struggling to get somewhere left. Sincerely, the world.
I want to write to get rid of all the frustration and misery, but I don’t think I’m able to find the words. I don’t think there are enough words in the world to describe what a mess I’ve made of my life. One day, I hope to look back on all of this and see exactly what I did wrong, exactly where was it that I began on this pathway to self destruction. Rather than hope for a better future, to find love or for happiness… to be able to see the real me in my distorted reality - that is the most I’m allowed to hope for.
my heads so messed up right now, i dont know what to think. i dont want to hurt anyone anymore. just leave me alone. i should be alone, forever - this is what i deserve.
I miss you too.
i made so many plans this year - i’ve made so many plans every year. i was so certain about the things i wanted, every time. after a while, something small happens or there’s a change in the wind and everything i wanted suddenly becomes completely irrelevant and off-putting. i used to want these things so badly - i worked so hard for them, like there was no other way and now, things are different and i could care less. i want different things now. i want more, constantly and i can never seem to settle for less.
Not dating anyone at the moment, but I do like someone :)
opportunities seem to come so easily to others, yet not to me. missing details, which seem small to me, but decision-changing for others. everything’s fucked up. i need to learn to appreciate things in life.
Someone save me from this hell